10 Things I’ve Learnt So Far As A Beginner, Solo Traveler
For me, solo travelling was always a daunting idea but it seemed like the best solution to my intense desire to see the world and a lack of somebody to do it with. Whilst I’ve not yet planned the six-month or year long route across a continent with a list of Worldpackers jobs at the ready, I have started to do smaller trips alone to make sure that if this big venture ever comes to be, I feel completely ready to enjoy it.
In the summer after my graduation I spent a few weeks travelling across Croatia and Hungary, jumping on Flix buses to see new cities and just this Christmas after spending a month with family in Australia, I revisited Vietnam to do the Ha Giang Loop solo. My trips haven’t been long or particularly strenuous but I’ve already gained such an insight into this backpacking life and I understand a few more of the ups and downs - knowledge that I can now take into planning a world trip, if it ends up that I’ll be doing it alone. What I’m trying to say is this - I don’t know loads yet but here are 10 things I’ve learnt already from my miniature, solo trips that I think are worth sharing:
Don’t wait for somebody to go with - you CAN do it alone.
I think this is the main thing that anybody who has the same desire to see the world needs to hear. It’s scary to even accept that you’re capable of a solo trip never mind make it a reality, but it’s way more than possible; you just need to push yourself out of the door. Travelling alone, for me, has been freeing. I’ve found comfort in my own company and more than that, I’ve gained a whole new level of confidence in meeting new people and putting myself out there. Being able to decide exactly what I want to do, how much time to spend in one place or even just what to eat in a day has allowed me to understand myself better and recognise the things that I enjoy and that work for me, as well as the things that definitely don’t. If I’m going to stress anything, it’s that gaining independence is so important in today’s world and being able to do things alone is a skill you can build and is one that you need. But I’ll come back to this later - here’s number two and it may seem a bit of a contradiction…
There will be difficult moments where you wish somebody was with you.
I did have days where I just wanted to be on the phone to family or friends all day and, especially when they’re in a different timezone and busy, it can be hard to feel positive and optimistic about your own plans. One thing I quickly realised is that, being alone, there’s not necessarily anybody to counter your bad moods or even to share your good ones with, and that’s hard. I think I also told my mum multiple times that I was struggling seeing such beautiful parts of the world and not having anyone to share it with. But what I didn’t realise is that I am still sharing it with them every time we chat, all whilst learning to enjoy it by myself too. The bad days and the lonely moments pass - don’t let them define your trip.
Just as a side note to anyone who is scared of the loneliness factor, the sheer amount of solo travelers out there means that you’re never completely alone for long anyway - you just need to start chatting to people, which is a point I’ll also come back to later.
Evenings are sometimes the hardest
During the day time you can keep yourself busy with a tour or by just wandering around a place enjoying it’s cafes and shops. When the night comes alive though and these more wholesome activities end for the day there is suddenly a more limited option on how to spend your time. Drinking culture, particularly in certain hostel scenes, is huge and if it’s not for you, the evenings can certainly be a more difficult time when you’re by yourself. This is something I found and I know that others have too. My solution to a night with no plans and no motivation to socialise at a hostel event is to romaniticise my evening. Curl up in bed, put on a Korean face mask, make sure there’s snacks and watch something long and uplifting until you’re ready to go to sleep. Throw some music or reading time in there too if you need.
There’s nothing wrong with spending a night, or all of them, in if that’s what will make you happy. And if it doesn’t, you need to be the one to change something.
It can be way cheaper than you expect
Let’s move on from some emotional struggles for now and talk about finances. When I say solo travelling can be cheaper than you expect, I don’t mean that it has to be. I’ve seen people rough it. Sometimes if the budget is getting tighter, dinner is a corner shop sandwich or boiled pasta made in a hostel kitchen. In fact in many of the hostels I’ve stayed, people are cooking every meal of the day to save their cash. That being said, I am a firm believer that the more money you have saved, the more you can enjoy a place. I hate cooking in hostel kitchens, not just because they’re gross and I’m a clean freak but also because I want to enjoy local restaurants and foods. Therefore I often tailor my budget more towards what I’m eating everyday than how many beers I’m having or if I’m taking a taxi rather than walking.
Budgeting is important, but you definitely don’t need thousands and thousands in your savings account to go and explore a new place. That’s why Worldpackers exists. If you’re not wanting to work whilst away your bigger expenses will be flights and accommodation, but after that you’re in charge of where the money goes.
Choosing the right places for you will always be the best choice
What I mean by this is that there is no ‘correct’ way to go backpacking, so choose your accomodation and activities based on what you enjoy or want to try. You don’t need to stay in the party hostel because that’s where you’ve heard everybody stays. If you don’t want to be on a bar crawl every night or putting alcohol at the forefront of your trip, then choose a calmer hostel than runs non-drinking events and focus on more wholesome ways of making friends.
I remember being so unhappy in a dorm one time because it had way more people in than was advertised and I felt unwell so was already having a low day - what I learnt from that experience is that sometimes you just need the private room. In fact, I’ve upgraded to a private room twice already because I either felt uncomfortable or unwell in a dorm and whilst it does alter your budget, it’s so worth it. If you can spend a bit extra and change your situation so that you’re comfortable and happier, it’s always the right choice. Remember, most hostels want to accommodate you and will help make sure that you’re happy with where you are.
The same goes for activities. It’s okay to do things differently to somebody else. If you don’t think you’re gonna enjoy something, don’t put yourself in an uncomfortable position. Save the ‘out-of-your-comfort-zone’ experiences for the things that are actually going to benefit you and help you to grow.
You’ll make a lot of surface level friendships, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t worth it.
Everybody talks about how backpackers have the same conversations 24/7 because you’re always making introductions - and it’s true. It’ll be a constant stream of ‘How long have you been out here?’ and ‘Where are you heading next?’ Honestly as repetitive as it is, I’m learning to love it because everybody’s answers can be so different and there’s so much to learn from everyone. I’ve met people from all of the world, who speak so many different languages and the one thing they have in common is that they love to tell you about their lives, families and friends back home - and I love to listen. Yes, I’ve met people that I probably never would have been friends with in a different scenario but nonetheless we’ve spent a day together or shared a meal because it’s a new person to spend time with. People are so interesting and just because you haven’t formed a deep friendship that will last forever, doesn’t mean they weren’t an important part of your experience. You have friends for different reasons and certain ones are just company at the time. Maybe you’ll be watching their Instagram stories for years to come, until you randomly end up in the same place again and have new things to talk about this time. So making those surface level friendships with people you might never see again is important - and they’ll definitely teach you at least one thing about the world or about yourself.
You might have to be the first person to introduce yourself
Speaking of introductions, I should note the small difficulty of actually starting a conversation with somebody new. I don’t know if Covid has made everybody more socially awkward or if most people just secretly are introverts, but I quickly came to terms with the fact that I had to be the one to start a conversation. Sometimes you meet the extremely extroverted backpacker who want to talk to everyone, and sometimes you have to step into their shoes - but it’s worth it. My confidence has skyrocketed from solo travelling, because I had to quickly learn how to start conversations and put myself out there in a social setting. The other insane benefit is that I’ve made friends for life, with people I might never have even talked to if I hadn’t said hi first. Put any self-conscious thoughts aside and just introduce yourself to someone new. And if it doesn’t work out, so what? Try again with the next person.
You don’t have to pack 700 things into a day
I feel this is self-explanatory. Unless you’re checking out at 10am, have a lie in. Don’t be mad at yourself for not doing every single thing you’ve seen on TikTok - enjoy the slow travel instead. What’s the point in being somewhere new and beautiful if you’re gonna feel burnt out the whole time?
You have to accept that you’re still a tourist
Yes you’re a backpacker, but you’re still a tourist. Learn some of the language, eat with the locals and be so so respectful of the culture (that’s kinda the bare minimum), but don’t make the assumption that you should be treated any different to any other tourist or that you’re any better than them. Sometimes local people don’t want you there and you have to just accept that. I’ve met people that really struggle with this notion and I just don’t get it? You can enjoy the places you’re visiting but you are by no means entitled to access everything they have to offer.
Learning to be on your own is a key life skill
Last year I read Good Material by Dolly Alderton and towards the end of the books there’s a conversation between two female characters that has stuck with me since and honestly, brought me comfort. When Jen asks if its a worry that she might end up by herself after breaking up with her long-term boyfriend, here’s what her best friend responds:
“You’ve always been alone darling. Jesus Christ, don’t have a kid or get married because you’re worried about being alone. Be alone. You know how to be alone without being lonely. Do you know how rare that is? Do you know how much I wish I could do that? It’s a wonderful thing you’ve got going on there.”
This is, I realise, what I want too. And this solo-travelling malarkey is really helping me to get there.
